HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I was a black cat this year, and attended a BBQ on the night of 10/31. It was my first Halloween in Japan (it's not really celebrated here).
However, lately I've been down because of 2 main things: 1) the JLPT is coming up next month, which means it's crunch time and I need to seriously study MORE cuz I'm no where close to being ready and am freaking out...I'm screwed!; 2) (being sandwiched between the 3rd and 1st years,) the 2nd year junior high school students (equivalent to 8th grade in SFUSD middle schools) are hella difficult... 2 students from 2-3 are rude to me, and there are a handful of 2nenseis who don't give a f about studying and keep being roudy. They don't try to understand English.
This is a personal issue I'm sharing, but since this blog is for the purpose of updating about my adventure in Japan (SORRY I WRITE TOO MUCH!), I am just gonna blog it. Please excuse my language (I sensored some). They're only there because of angry and upset feelings. I ended up crying while Skype-ing with my family. It's ridiculous. I could be an emotional and sensitive person.
11/4/2009:
I really hate 2 students who are in 2-3. They're so disrespectful. Whenever I enter their classroom, they start talking sh*t about me without mentioning my name. I understand what they're saying so it hurts. Damn mean teen-aged haters.
It sucks because 1 of them bastards USED TO BE nice to me. I saw him at the Danjiri festival and we took pics, and I gave him and others store-printed copies of the digital photos at the school Sports Day. He was nice when I used to speak to him in Japanese. Now that I only see him in his English class and I only speak in English, he joined forces with this other jerk and together, at the beginning of class, they've said stuff like this out loud (they sit away from each other):
"Oh, she was speaking in Japanese last time... she must be a spy!"; "Oh, there goes Hagrid!" because of my haircut, even though I look NOTHING like him; and "Oh, that parker must be from Uniqlo...blah blah blah...but I'm not sure... hahaha...blah blah blah..." and I was really wearing a Uniqlo parker, but who the f cares!.
I am guaranteed to get these kinds of stupid comments tomorrow. And since I'm not allowed to speak to them in Japanese in class, I cannot talk back to them and tell em to shut the hell up. If I say it in English, they won't understand, and will probably make more fun of me. I can only ignore, but I can't smile in that class. Half the time they talk, don't always do work, or fall asleep. I thought that one boy was a good kid at first, but I feel like I've been betrayed...
I've been warned before coming to Kishiwada that the students in this city have a reputation of them being rough and tough, but still... Just when things seemed to adjust well for me, this stupid thing is happening... I was able to let those remarks slide by, but they've gotten annoying, to the extent that I'm now upset.
11/5/2009:
Today wasn't as bad, but again, one of the 2 bad students saw me coming into the classroom, and was like, "uwa, deta!" as if I'm like a monster appearing out of nowhere again. So stupid. But his homeroom teacher was like, "naniga detaya?" (what do you mean by what he said?) and he smirked and said "Hello" to me in English and walked off to his seat. I was like, "Hi, what's your problem?" And of course he couldn't understand me. After the Q&A worksheets, we played jeopardy, but it was so damn difficult to get the class to make teams and settle down and keep quiet. Well, that student and his teammates won, despite causing a ruckus and I was giving them stickers but the bell had rung and they ran off without them (I saved stickers, yes!).
I just hear these random remarks by him and this other dumbass, and whenever I have to deal with them, it reminds me of my middle school days being teased and all. I mean, I know it's been what? Like 8 or 9 years since I was their age, but I'm still getting offended. I know I just need to ignore and try to make them do their work and become better students, but it's a working progress. I talked to my JTE today about them, and I feel better now, but she also doesn't like 2nenseis and she knows how difficult they are. Other ALTs have told me they don't like 2nenseis either. They just suck.
Like my JTE said, jr. high kids have many different faces, in and outside of school. It's just an unfortunate reality. Also, there are pros and cons to both speaking in Japanese to them, and not being allowed to.
Some students know I understand what they're saying. Some kids still don't have a clue, and are still finding out that I know Japanese (and they get surprised!). When someone says something funny, I react to it, so they find out. Also, when I did my self-intros in September, my JTEs sometimes told them I understand Japanese because a few students asked if I could or not. It's not easy to keep the secret. I have a Japanese name, a Japanese look, and I'm bilingual. I'm human so I have feelings too. Also, I pretty much tend to respond to their Japanese questions and I answer back in English. I guess it's not something I'm supposed to do, but to break misunderstandings, I gotta use my bilingual skills (sometimes). I can't help it. At least I'm speaking English to them for the most part (speaking in Japanese to them is for rare/secretive occasions like in the hallways when they can't understand my English, when I helped a few students with their English Recitation Contests, whenever really necessary, etc).
11/6/2009:
Today, that a*shole student was visiting a 2nensei class my JTE and I were heading to, and he saw me and was all stupidly saying, "WOW!" when he passed me. My JTE and I laughed it off, saying how stupid he is. He changed (good to evil), and I don't know what his problem is. I'm just gonna f this matter and move on. I don't have time to think/fret over this sh*t.
Damn kids with their bad mouths. They really need to learn to keep to themselves. They have serious problems. I hear other kids say stuff here and there too, but the ones I pointed out are so rude and obnoxious. It's just a difficult age group to deal with, and I can't help but remind myself of my experiences back in middle school. I guess some childhood things stay with you and become unforgettable all the way up to adulthood and beyond. I know they're still in the immature stage, but dealing with this nonsense is not cool. Although I wish the school head could just discipline them and tell em to stop fooling around (with me), this is a sensitive matter so I also don't wanna create drama out of this. After all, I'm not one of his fellow students who could tattle-tail. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but it is to me, because I'm the one experiencing this after all. May things get better soon!!!!! I'm only gonna be at this school until March, but I still want my time there to be memorable.
I'm sure experiencing the JAPANESE JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL SYSTEM right now. AMERICAN AND JAPANESE EDUCATION SYSTEMS ARE SURE DIFFERENT. Because of this upsetting issue, I'm questioning whether or not I really wanna become an English teacher in Japan. I'm glad JET is a temporary thing, but that spark I had back in middle school is dying out. I'm still appreciating this new experience and I love interacting with good kids and teaching them what I know (English, America, etc.), but I'm second guessing about the "teaching as a career" thing I had in mind. This first year on JET is an experiment for me; I'm still testing it out to see if I want to become a real teacher in the future. I might request to transfer positions to CIR, but I don't think it'll actually happen because of limitations. If I can't do CIR next year, I don't mind recontracting as an ALT for the second year. Well, I need to focus on the JLPT; that's like my current #1 priority besides work. I wish I could just leisurely enjoy this fall season in Japan without stressing out about the test. Nonetheless, I am super excited for my mother to visit me next week!
Quiet Saturday night, surfing random JET blogs... came across yours.
ReplyDeleteShame you're having disciplinary type problems with some of your kids...
You know, I know ESID and all, and I don't have fluent Japanese in the slightest, but after a few years I've picked up some and the kids know I understand a little. And given that some of your JTEs have already told the kids, kinda/sorta, that you understand Japanese, I'd take the "forbidden to speak Japanese to the kids" with a grain of salt. Everybody gets told that, although mine wasn't an instruction of "forbidden" but "please don't." And certainly I wouldn't sweat letting them occasionally understand that you understand what they're saying. If they get all confused, just tell them you've been "studying."
Of course, *in* English class itself, you don't want to be translating Japanese to English, or vice versa. But in the halls, in class before or after the bell, around the campus, I'd recommend not being adverse to mixing up the languages or even give the kids the impression the kids are teaching you some Japanese. I mean, you've already figured out it's okay for things like helping with the recitation contests, and there are more times and places it's appropriate.
Especially, and particularly, if some kids are being openly disrespectful and insulting to you, I wouldn't hesitate to dress them down in Japanese. A few brief, well chosen words can sometimes put them in line long enough to get the job done, for a little while at least.
I have mostly really good kids, but I have a couple yanki wannabees who need the back of their jacket grabbed with the occasional "oi! yamenasai! ii desu ka?"
Your a foreigner, and automatically a little intimidating to them, even the "too cool" kids, so don't be afraid to get a little aggressive or throw your weight around a little bit.
Odds are, your JTE won't say anything, and if they do, tell them the kids were being rude and disrespectful and it was starting to affect your mental health and violating your human rights. As broadly as Japan defines those terms, and from what you've written, it doesn't sound as you'd be exaggerating by much.
Best of luck.
Thanks. Yeah, as this is bound to continue, I should really question him about his behavior and see what his problem is. It's a complicated issue. But if I do talk to him in Japanese again, the other students will find out I know Japanese (if not already), so this should be done discreetly. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteYeah, you really have to figure that the kids already *know* you know Japanese.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, them knowing you can understand some of what they're saying isn't the equivalent of *you* talking to them in Japanese - which is generally the concern of JTEs in a classroom/school environment.
You really shouldn't have to pretend and play dumber than you are.
My kids know I can understand some Japanese and ask me stuff in Japanese all the time, but when it's not appropriate you just make 'em speak English. "Sorry, English please!" is a recurring mantra. Best of luck.
Yeah, I often get asked questions in Japanese as well. But the dumb kid doesn't ask any questions.
ReplyDeleteYour experience sounds really difficult. 8 ( In my experience, part of respect/discipline issues come from the student, but teachers and administration also play a large part. It sounds like your JTE doesn't really have a handle on the kids (regardless of whether or not it's his/her fault). This makes your job much more difficult.
ReplyDeleteYour job is to help teach the students, and to assist the JTE. It is not your job to get walked over. 我慢 is well and good at times, but can be unhealthy, particularly in a situation like this. I agree with Mr. Pugh. Don't hesitate to stand up for yourself.
Remember that every student has some reedeeming quality. While it's sad that that student has to get his jollies by picking on you, I wonder what horrible school or home experiences he must have had to become like that?
Even though you are having a horrible experience right now, there are different schools out there, and many kids that have good relationships with their teachers, and that want to learn English.
Are you at the point where you could say to your JTE/Kouchou, "There's no point in pretending not to understand Japanese. Everyone knows it already, so I'm going to speak Japanese outside of class. I think that will help my relationship with students." Or, could you talk to an AJET representative to get some advice?
ajet.net/modules/articles/article.php?id=4
頑張れ！もうちょっとの辛抱だ。８）
-Go
Asuka! didn't read your whole blog (i'm at work too right now). but praying for you! sounds so difficult. being language bound in JCHIP makes me think I can relate a little. I'll keep you in my thoughts, take each day at a time, email anytime if you want!
ReplyDelete-Your fan from Boston.
Yukiko
Aww... thanks guys!!!
ReplyDelete@ Go: Yeah, I don't know anymore or what to do anymore... haha. I need to see how things go for a while longer. I'm thankful that I get to do something I've been wanting to since I was in middle school, but... I guess my expectations for JET aren't exactly what I'm experiencing now here in this city and at my school, so it makes me feel not so great. I might be too selfish or complaining too much, but it's hard to keep this inside so I had to blog it. Thanks for your input! My experience is probably a lot different compared to most other JETs...
@ Rachel Yuki-chan: Yeah, JET is so different from JCHIP. JCHIP helped me for JET, but it's totally different. Sometimes I wish I could teach at the schools that Kokiryo kids attend. I'm thinking about you too!! :)